Silence

Doesn’t always mean YES. Sometimes it can mean I am tired of explaining my side and saying things that you don’t want to understand. I’m always the bad guy anyway. I am tired of all the drama and the misunderstandings. You know it’s time to let go when the both of you doesn’t want to eat the humble pie anymore. When all there’s left are arguments and unjust decisions.

I may have said the agonizing words for a lot of times but I don’t mean them. I’m just carried away by my emotions and I cannot contain the feelings that’s why I’ll just say whatever things came out my mind that will make me look strong enough to tolerate the hurt that’s been made. But that was before. When I know that you won’t let me, when I know that you will be coming to me as soon as you receive my foolish text messages of leaving you. Now, I finally realized, as I said those words the last time, I knew you won’t be coming to me with your swollen eyes and alcohol-influenced self. I know that I’ve hurt you enough to even make you stop texting me for the whole day. I know that the love is gone and I don’t think it’s ever coming back. I’m accepting the fact of you leaving me or us not being together anymore as I look back to the happy moments and precious time of me and you, I can’t help but think of the bad times and sad moments.  You deserve the best. Not the constant tantrums of a 19 year old girl who always want to be granted by all the things that she wants.

3 years and 22 days of i-don’t-know-what taught me a lot. Thanks.

*silence*