2020, I’m ready… I guess.

Casually hoping I am not too late but hey, Happy New Year!!

2020 came rushing like a meteorite shocking everyone with its head on impact. As if a year was compressed to a month and it literally was just the first of the new year. I guess I need not to enumerate as a list of the events have been circulating on social media lately but I sincerely hope everyone is doing well now.

Pictionary is such a fun game!

These happenings actually influenced my coming back to blogging, somehow. Even though I have planned on having my domain hosted since December last year, I had errands that needed more attention so it had to wait. But now, the blog is back. And I am very grateful.

I have this favorite quote that I read somewhere, maybe on social media which says “Look for the dream that keeps coming back; it is your destiny.” I liked the thought that in this world, especially in this time when opportunity has become rare because everyone seems to be so great at things that it is even harder to keep up, still there is this one thing that is destined for you and you just have to see it for yourself.

I am going 28 and honestly, there were so many things that I wanted to achieve by this age when I was a younger teen or even during my daydreams. To not be so hard on myself, I actually achieved some and this blog is one of them. And it feels refreshing coming back. Is writing my destiny? I hope so. Writing a book is one of my dreams, too. Thinking about it now makes my heart happy and inspired.

Thinking about dreams and inspirations, I become interested in knowing other people’s inspiration too. To anyone reading this, are you into writing also? Or maybe owning a coffee shop? Probably designing clothes? I’d love to know them. Please share on the comments if you have spare time.

By the way, I would like to thank my friend, Nadine, who has always been my go-to sensei for blogging since day 1, for helping me bring this blog up yet again this time.

Check out her site for affordable web hosting plans: http://www.oh-rainbow.net

Again, happy new year everyone!

I live in a country where everybody wants respect so much to give it

Today is May 14, 2019. Weeks prior, I so wanted to have a manicure but since I had to make way for a more important color to touch my fingernail, it might have to take another week or so. Until it disappears naturally, I can only wait. Because not a nail polish, but a sign to avoid electoral fraud, a mark which shows that a citizen already cast a vote at an election, an indelible ink is what’s visible on my index finger as of now.
Figuratively, it is a symbol of one’s right being exercised. And yesterday, the Philippines held its mid-term elections for 2019.

Naturally, one would always wish for a clean and peaceful election especially here in the Philippines. Had it ever happened? Let us just wish again.

And it’s saddening that the stronger our desire for a positive and healthy election, the more it brings out the toxicity we so openly toss at each other. A never ending purge of emotions.

Even long before the campaign period starts, difference in opinion creates an invisible line between the pro’s and the con’s —no matter the point, no matter the idea, there will always be a “You’re right.” and “CAN YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING?” side.
As the election period progress, the lines start to have colors encompassing its own corresponding sides.

Having an opinion is inevitable, standing your ground for it is just what’s right. But sometimes, we value our own opinion so much that we overlook others’. The sad truth is we listen to respond not to understand.

We value our own opinion so much, we forget we are Filipinos under the same fight.

Along with the election results are friends degrading a friend because his political views are different, hurting a co-worker’s feelings because she decided to follow their religion’s practice. While we should be supporting one another in this journey, we call each other “Bobo,” “Tanga.” Filipino after Filipino hating each other. Truth is, nobody won, with this mindset, with the nation being this divided, we all lost.

Until we can overcome this kind of mentality, we can only hope.

Far but not alone

Five months back, I was this plain Manila girl struggling with everyday Ortigas Extension traffic congestion —yes, apparently, traffic was the biggest problem for me back then. So along with a handful of worries from personal life to work, I prepared myself to step on a huge adventure, to bid goodbye to my comfort zone and to explore a totally different world. Going to Japan has been a constant dream of mine and I do not know what good deed my past self did before but it truly was a blessing to be granted a training course in the country I can only reach in my dreams back then.

People might think that I am having the time of my life in this country, they aren’t wrong but it is also true that there is no place like home. I am thankful for technology because I am able to easily keep in touch with my family.

Even if I am miles away from everyone, I believe family will always be by your side.

Excuse me while I fight the urge to sing Titanic’s OST—but actually no, let’s not fight it because indeed—near, far, wherever you are~ no matter how happy your day has been, it will always feel even better if you can share it to your loved ones. Regardless of the distance, they are the ones who are always willing to listen and be actually happy for your happiness. Same goes with the lonely days, they are the very special ones who can easily take the pain away because you know that the love that they are showing you is true. At home in the Philippines, I was not that open with my family as I am now and I am thankful that Tokyo happened that it lead me to being more open to them which is nice. ^u^

Thank you Internet! lol

Ohisashiburi!

I haven’t written in ages since arriving here in Japan so “Ohisashiburi!” It is a Japanese phrase meaning “Long time no see,” in English. Or should I say, “Gobusatadesu!” It means, “Sorry I haven’t written to you for a long time.” But I am no Nihongo sensei so let us stop at that.

Now what to say, I am writing at random now because I just chance upon my housemate’s laptop and thought I should visit my blog. It’s been months! OMG.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BX9TRqiDNf9/?taken-by=fuukadeadgril

I am doing fine here in Japan, I miss my family all the time but the convenient life here makes everyday survivable. Thanks to Internet also, I am able to talk to my family anytime.

I guess I will just make separate posts about my life here in Japan because there are just lots to share. I really regret not updating more often. I did not bring my laptop too which makes blogging hard but I will try to share some time when my housemate’s laptop is free.

For now, nice to be back!

Have you been to Japan too? Which is your favorite part of Japan? Please share them to me too so I can look forward to them here. Although I am no traveler here, I would love to know more about how other people see Japan too.

Ja, ne!

 

 

Facebook On this day realizations

Facebook’s “On this day” feature can actually be a worth-scanning through at times. My cosplay from a year ago was the featured memory today. Curious because it was a cosplay convention that I enjoyed, I decided to check more throwback posts. I did find a few cosplay-related ones but one off-cosplay status of mine of the same memory lane stood out to me and lead me to writing this post.
It was a shared photo from Quote Catalog and I simply captioned with a single letter “K.” The shared photo says, “If it weren’t for second chances, we’d all be alone.”

"If it weren't for second chances, we'd all be alone." - Gregory Alan Isakov  Follow us on Facebook: www.facebook.com/QuoteCatalog:

Two years have passed since the post but I instantly knew what that “K” meant.No, it didn’t mean a shorter “Okay.” nor “Fine,” and most definitely not potassium. But a person.

This may be a little cheesy emotional starting from this point so I would understand if you can’t read on. I didn’t have a Valentine’s post too so this would do.

A couple of years back, life made me experience something that I can only see in movies, something I never knew was survivable. Luckily, I am here writing this so, I survived.I know being heartbroken is but a part of life. That being left behind, is a common challenge most people in this world faces. My heart back then was so young and carefree and also very fragile. I was left by a person I loved. Everything happened so instantaneously, a piddling sting of pain in my heart still twinges whenever I think of it. It was true what every heartbroken person says. Along with your heart, your world will crumble to pieces. Mine was shatterred to inumerable debris that I didn’t know if I can start again. Had I known, I could not fathom how.

That was back then.

Good thing it is also true, that time can heal our wounds.Day by day, a part of the universe appears to me to help me get back up or at least make it another day until another help comes. That kept me going. And that was the best thing that happened among every other episode in this experience — I kept going. From day 1 when I can barely open my swollen eyes to day whatever when I finally, personally chose to heal, I kept on moving forward. Through the help of everyone around me who actually cared, I survived. They were the answers to my prayers. Literally heaven sent angels and I will forever be thankful to God for their existence.

I continue moving on up to this day when I tell the story to share a lesson rather than an emotion. Part of my recovery is accepting that I had my faults as well. I realized that I also had my mistakes that lead to the downfall of the relationship. At some point, I put all the blame on my wrongdoings and thought that no one will ever choose me again because of my past mistakes.But thanks to that post by Quote Catalog, I was reminded that I am still worthy to be loved. Along with my mistakes are the realization that failing, does not mean an end. Failure is just an opportunity for us to start again, this time, smarter.

Now that I am looking at it at a better angle, I am able to say that hardships, failing relationships, rejection, are all parts of our life that we cannot run from. Negative happenings serve as turning point for our improvement. Heartaches lead the way to healing and second chances. We just have to make ourselves look at the brighter side of things.

K, the person that I was referring to in the caption, is my second chance in love. He accepted me and made me feel that whatever happened in the past is part of the past. He taught me to take the hardships as stepping stones to see a better view of the future.

At a certain part of our lives, we’ll face challenges. It is something that happens unexpectedly or as outcomes of our decisions but once that’s it’s already there, we have no control over it anymore so make use of what you can do,make the best of what you have and that is yourself. Choose to be better, choose to heal, look forward to your second chance.

My 2017’s first 31 days

I couldn’t believe January passed by just like that. And February felt rushing into something as well now. Next thing we know, we’re putting up Christmas decorations once again. But for now, I want to savor the fresh feeling of a new beginning. How I wish, I have the power to control time — to slow it down when I want to or to make it run fast when I needed to also.

2016 has been full of lessons and blessings to me. And while most people hated that year, I was thankful that I get to live through it albeit the struggles and all. That made me be more positive entering 2017. I am slowly learning to let go of what slows my progress down. I learned that in order to grow, we must be willing to accept what can be and what must not.

Fortunately, my few friends remained and a few more were added this year. I look forward to more gigs with my guitar center warwick fanatic friend, my cosplay group, my workmates and am looking forward to travel more this year. Hopeful I can give the same enjoyment to my family as well.

To sum up my first 31 days of 2017, the feeling of gratutude tops all other feelings. During those first 31 days, I already faced life-changing decision-making moments and I am thankful that I am surrounded by people who loves me enough to tell me their true sentiments to help me make up my mind. All the more, I am thankful that God gave me those people to always make me feel supported and who also remind me that the best advice still comes from Above.

Would love to know about your first 31 days of 2017 also. I wish you could comment them down below or if you’ve posted it on your blogs, can I see the links so I can read it too?

1 month down, 11 more to go. Spread positivity this 2017! <3

Good-bye, March!

As mentioned on previous post, I just turned 20 this month. Actually, just 4 days ago and I have learned a lot of things during my birthday month that I feel like posting about those. But let’s talk about March in general for now.

I have always been excited for my birthday and this month coming in made me even more excited to be a year older. I share the same birthday month with my blogging senpai, Nadine. 🙂

A lot of things happened and truly new experiences overflowed on me this month. I have grown so much for the past few months and I would love to learn more on the upcoming days.

April, please be good! 🙂

I just turned 20!

Yes. With all the drama and heartaches, I became a year older again.

My birthday this year felt quite different. I don’t know but deep inside me, a feeling of having to act maturely takes place. It’s funny how often it strikes me. Even while washing the dishes or preparing the pasta for the spaghetti. I feel it. I have to change now. I am 20.

A sudden sense of responsibility also seem to be pouring on me as if an invisible hand is pushing me towards a task that I am not actually doing before. Can it be called human nature? That feeling when you feel like you have to do something because you are old enough to do it.

But still, the little girl in me will never fade. I still have a lot of growing up to do and today is my first step towards it.

Giving Back

Admit it or not, we always want to receive something for Christmas. May it be simple material gifts or the intangible things that can only be felt by the heart.

This Christmas, I tried my very best to save money and buy three of the most helpful friends I have and luckily, I was able to.

Jeynee, a high school friend and still very generous one. Though she has her own circle of friends, she still finds a way to give me something even just in an ordinary day. I was never last on her list and even if I am, I’m still thankful because I was there. I never had the chance to give her anything yet, aside from letters maybe and a gift from her birthday but this time, I wanted to give her something that she can make use of because she seem like a busy buddy nowadays. I hope with this simple gift I can add to her already happy Christmas.

Blessings came pouring on me because this year I met two people who had given me a lot already even though we just became friends and I wanted to give something back to them, to the best of my abilities.

Mahj, as mentioned here, whenever we go elsewhere, she always manages to provide me food so as I won’t get tired or anything. I admire that and most of all, I admire the trust and the company that she has given me. So I wish, through this gift, I can somehow repay some of those efforts and I promise to treat you next time. When I have money. 🙂

Nadine, the Master. I think I cannot write down all the things that this pink-loving girl has given me. The words in my vocabulary wouldn’t be enough if I were to enumerate each of them but generally, Nadine is the one responsible for everything I have in the blogging world. You wouldn’t be reading these exact words right now if it weren’t because of her. She is also the key to fulfilling my very dream of meeting my most favorite artist in the whole world, Adam Young, and I am very very very thankful for that. I will forever be thankful that she gave me this domain where I was able to earn enough money to buy concert tickets. All that because of her! She is truly a God given gift to everyone who knows her and so in return I would like to give her something that can show how much I appreciated all of her help. These gifts might be simple and she can buy these anytime she want but this is all I can afford so I just wish two things: 1. I wish that she’ll like it. 2. I wish that she never has it yet. (because she seem to have everything already!!!


I’m really not that good in giving gifts so I just made the wrappers look cool so that it may make a good impression. Heh~

I wish these girls would like my very simple gifts to them. I don’t have a job yet guise so deal with those for now. 🙂 Merry Christmas and thank you again! 🙂