diary | God

That one day I got my ankle sprained

By on March 8, 2015

Adventurous. On-the-go. Ready.

That’s what I was when I started working as a site engineer just a weeks ago. It was my first job in the construction field — a job fit for my educational background — and I was so excited. The construction site is located a bit far from our house and so I had to travel for almost four hours each day not to mention the struggle boarding and alighting the MRT, eating a large portion of my day and making me dead tired as I reach home. Due to this, I asked my parents if I can stay at the staff house provided by our company. It was really hard moving out but I just put into mind the benefits that I’ll be getting once I got used to living there. And so with the same spirit that I had at the beginning, I transferred.

Together with Kenneth, I brought my things at the staff house and that same night I stayed there. If I were the Facebook person I would’ve posted a status that might look like “Abegail Layosa is feeling independent —- first night at staff house” along with a selfie of mine with my baggage. Instead, I simply reported to my parents that I reached our staff house at Pasay City safely and is about to take the rest that I deserved.

Came the next day, work day. I am really very excited and challenged. “This is really is it!” I said to myself. What I thought was a ordinary day, ended up with me having a sprained ankle. It was a normal, busy day at work —permits, inspections, monitoring, the usual stuff. I never imagined that there was an accident waiting for me as I come back to my second home.

Good thing I was with my superior then. We were about to enter the first street to our home when I missed a step and landed on my unprepared foot. It was so painful. In fact, I can still feel the pain as I narrate it that I can’t look at the words for it doubles the pain. I wanted to cry but my pride held back the tears from my eyes. I just sat there, at the very gutter which I thought was the same level as the last step of the MRT stairs, not minding the rushing people as they don’t mind me either. It was hell’s dish with agony, suffering, distress and misery as the ingredients. Super long story short, we still managed to get to the staff house with a major effort in every step.

Now why am I narrating this very unfortunate experience of mine?

It’s because I actually realized a lot of things. This sprained ankle may seem yes, a serious injury but on a deeper note, the fall apparently shook me and changed some of my views on things.

For now, please accept my apology for I have taken a lot of time narrating the tragedy that I will have to share the more important thoughts in bullets.

  • God will never give us challenges that we cannot handle. That very moment when I was sitting after I fell down I thought I wouldn’t be able to stand up and walk again. The pain was so penetrating I could feel it in my bones. But I knew I can’t stay there forever. I knew I had to go to our staff house where it is safer. I knew, no matter how impossible it was that time, I had to get up and with my broken ankle, walk. So I stood up. With the help of my superior, we reached the staff house. I fell but was still able to walk because God gave me the abilities to do so. And He provided me a companion because He knows that’s what I need.
  • Absence doesn’t always mean you are being disregarded, people may be far away but those who love you will always care. I admit the experience was not only physically painful for me but also emotionally. My family was not with me. Kenneth cannot pick me up. I asked for help from them but no one came. I cried more because of that than because of the pain. But the next day Kenneth came and brought me home. My mother brought me to the clinic as well. There are things that we cannot control and people have limitations. In the end, I received the caring treatment that I longed for the night before.
  • God provides. I’m miles away form home and I can’t walk. I had to go home because the people at the staff house have their own lives to take care of. I stayed there waiting for Kenneth and actually I never felt any struggle spending the day by myself, injured. I was able to eat lunch with the food earlier prepared by my superior and was able to go downstairs with the help of my office mate who came early that day. Let me just mention that our apartment was located at the third floor so yeah. As I reach ground floor, Kenneth was there waiting for me and we were able to go home safely.
  • I matter. Though the new one in the house, I really felt at home and cared for. My officemates each mumbled a simple “Get well soon.” just before leaving for work. Those were people I just knew the day before, it really touched my heart. At home, I received remarks like I should just go back home and stay with them. Moments like these help in removing the pain.
  • Having an honest heart is one of the best feelings in the world. Communication is really important in any relationship. Somehow the emotional pain hasn’t gone away yet but I was able to tell how I felt. It opened my mind and was able to accept that not all things can go our way. Just like they say, life is not a fairytale. By saying my feelings I was able to release the burden that adds to my suffering and was able to realize that I am still very blessed despite what happened. And with that comes the last bullet..
  • Learn to count your blessings. That night of my accident I cried because of the joining pain on my foot and in my heart. I felt alone. I felt like I was being punished because of my shortcomings. That night I also prayed to God. Admittedly, it was a more of “God please remove this pain. I can’t bear it no more.” prayer at first. A demanding prayer I must say. I questioned Him for the absence of my loved ones, I hated the people who weren’t there for me that time. Until my words were being swallowed by my sobbing. I prayed in my head and then I realized how blessed I am to have a companion when that incident happened. That if Ma’am Lea wasn’t there in front of me, I would’ve landed with my face on the ground. If I were not to stay on our staff house I had to go home injured and alone. If my officemates were not with me, I would’ve prepared meal for myself, again injured. I just had an accident, that’s all. But I was never left alone, not by God.

Writing this, I realized more things but it all points out to God always being there for us. NO MATTER WHAT. I still wouldn’t want for this accident to happen but it already did. I just have to face the coming days and carry with me the message that God gave through this incident. Always remember, you are being blessed each day. every breath you take is God’s gift. Choose to look at things at the brighter side.

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3..2..1.. Publish!

By on August 5, 2014

Everybody needs inspiration. Luckily for me, I have one at the moment. Oh, if ever he reads this, consider me dead. He doesn’t know. Neither would I want to tell him but well whatever. If he gets here, he must’ve stalked me all the same, so he has some explaining to do too. Haha!
Oh. Sorry for the tone. Gosh! See, I rarely make posts lately then suddenly I’m this gooey-dooey sugarcoaty girl writing in a mushy tone. I apologize.

So getting to the point, I just realized how having a real, hand-picked inspiration help in boosting one’s self-esteem. It’s already given that when we’re inspired we get to do things better but what I mean is that, there’s that one thing —not necessarily a person, can be anything— that brings genuine happiness to us without any effort at all. And that happiness becomes our inspiration, our driving force.

As for me, I found it not only with the person I was talking about at the beginning of this post. Honestly, as I think of it now, this person probably is part or the end result of me being inspired and all. I found him just as I decided to lose it all. Ohh. How very deep of me. Haha. But no, really. I wasn’t looking for someone at the moment. I want to pass my exam, first thing. Second, be a practicing civil engineer and earn lots of money for cosplay. Haha. I decided to leave my old habits behind and change to be a better me. Those attitudes which brought me to failure, little by little I am trying to exterminate them in my system. God-willing I was able to surpass some and still trying to change as of now. I may sound too proud of myself to claim that God is rewarding me with my good deeds, that’s due to my limited point of view. But in the eyes of God, I deserve all these that He has given me. And I am very much thankful for EVERYTHING. I need all these —positive or negative— things to keep me going. What I have now, all came from the Lord because He wants to help me. He listens to my cry. Through sincere prayer, I know that He let me meet this person so that I can strive to be a better person for him. I want to be a better person for him. So first things first!

Honestly, this post was meant to be a confession but it ended up this way and I like it better. I felt more inspired actually. Haha. YOSH!

All the praise to our Lord Jesus Christ!

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Seen or unseen

By on January 23, 2013

Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. — Matthew 6:1

A lot of ideas are jam-packed into this 34-versed chapter. Personally, I think this has been God’s answer to my constant prayers this past few weeks. And a lot more are added maybe for the concerns I failed to pray for but God sees deep in my heart.

Being righteous is easy. The following circumstances are what makes it hard. Because right now, we are living in a world where the enemy can work easily because the people are easy to fool. This world offers things we thought we need until we are consumed by the idea of it. Until we have to do everything to the point of disobeying God just to be happy with it.

Being righteous is easy. By default, no one is born evil. We are not born with the desire to hurt others or to do what God doesn’t want. But as we grow old, as we become more exposed to this world and what it can offer, we tend to switch paths and go the wrong way just to satisfy ourselves but not our spirit.

Being righteous is easy but it may hurt sometimes since we live in a world where materialism, selfishness and hypocrisy reign. It may hurt sometimes not to be able to live just like everyone else. We may question God why do other people not suffer the way you do. It is because they are living in this world and for themselves only.

A friend of mine once said, “The moment we accept Christ in our hearts, we are no longer citizens of this world.” Our citizenship is in heaven. We are strangers here. That’s why sometimes our actions are exactly the opposite of theirs. We get hurt, insecure and jealous because their lives seem to be a lot easier than ours. Simply because we don’t live according to this world but according to God’s will and plan. So just keep on following Jesus and God’s commands for above anything else in this universe and everything else in all creation, there is only one that we should please. Not ourselves, not our partner but God.

Do good deeds not for the sake of being rewarded by it. God doesn’t want that. Do good because you want to. Deep inside your heart, you want to. Do not do good in front of an audience and then do the opposite when no one’s watching. Only the people of this earth here do that. Because no matter where we are, Somebody sees us and He is the only one we should do good things for . Because He wants us to do good to each other and so we must. Seen or unseen.

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family | God

Gifts and gifts and gifts

By on January 2, 2012

Forgive me for the very sudden irrelevant posts I’m just having a hard time on choosing which errand to prioritize that’s why I keep on forgetting what to post first and so on. Anyways, this is yet another random post about Christmas day.

Actually, the number of gifts under our Christmas tree was considerably large. I mean, that was the first time the gifts ever got that many that’s why I want to savor the moment and relive the happiness that those simple gifts brought to us.

some of the gifts were already opened that time 🙂

I’m very happy with what I received this Christmas. Every single gift that I got was deeply appreciated. I never really expected those gifts which made it more special. I am still very thankful to the Lord that He gave me and my family the chance and resources to come up with simple presents for each other. As usual, I received an owl accessory again. Wee~

thank You Lord for these.

The one who got the most number of gifts was Marxi, the reigning gift collector. 😀 She even had a lot of money from her ninongs and ninangs. What a lucky child. 🙂


I wholeheartedly wanted to thank every single person who bothered to give us their Christmas presents and above all, I want to thank the Lord for giving us yet another Christmas to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. I hope everybody had enjoyed their short vacation. 🙂


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adam young | diary | God

Welcome 2012!

By on January 1, 2012

Happy New Year, My Lovely Visitors and Readers!

2011 had become a very wonderful year for me. Especially because I met the man of my dreams on that year. Adam Young to be exact. 🙂

And I hope this year, 2012, will be a lot more meaningful though it started crazily because of some uncontrollable circumstances yet, I believe it happened for a reason. and I don’t regret what I did. Well, anyways, this is not the right place to talk about negative vibes but if you want to know what happened awhile ago, as we are about to sleep after celebrating the New Year, you can read it here. Let us just pray that whatever happened, will vanish just as the smokes of 2011 farewell.

Okay. Enough of the bad things, I just want to wish everyone a prosperous year and I am hoping that all of us will have take a step closer to God as the 365 days of the year come along.

God bless us all.

Happy New Year!


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adam young | diary | friendship | God

A Teary Little Christmas (Party)

By on December 19, 2011

One of the two Christmas parties that I’ll be attending this year happened today. I was with my schoolmates and we shared a very long walk from SM Megamall to Meralco to witness the lights display there. I don’t have a camera so maybe the photos will be posted soon, when the ones with cameras uploaded our photos. I just want to share what I felt when I received the gift from my classmate and friend, Bernie. I was his “monita” and I was so overjoyed that I am close to tears when I received this very unexpected gift.

Being a fan of Owl City, I already have the idea that I will be given anything related to owls and because Owl City merch are very expensive, I erased that from my expectations list already. What’s on my mind were owl earrings or owl necklaces. The typical owl accessories but when Bernie handed me the gift, my initial reaction was a simple thank you but on my mind I was disappointed because it was not the size of any accessory and by its texture, I knew that it was s stuffed toy. I don’t fancy stuffed toys that much so I decided not to open it but they insisted that we open our gifts and so I was forced to open mine. I examined the squishy thing while it was still inside its packaging and concluded to myself, “Okay, it’s a stuffed toy. Just be thankful that you received a gift.” I already conditioned myself to seeing a cuddly little teddy bear the moment I pull it out but as I explore my hands further, the gift still inside the wrapping, I felt as if there is a pocket or something, and then I thought, “Is this an animal hat? Wow! Not bad.” But then as I dig into the gift, feeling the mysterious thing’s features, I spotted what seemed like a beak, a soft beak. I didn’t think twice that time and pulled it out with all my heart. That moment I was sitting on the grass and everyone’s been surrounding me, waiting for my reaction and as realization hit me, my hands voluntarily hit Bernie’s legs who is at that time standing in front of me. I just received an owl puppet!

This owl puppet surely has a long beak. 😀

For non-Owl City fans, I know it’s normal to regard my reaction as weird or almost freaky because I was really close to crying when I knew what the real gift was.

I’m just very thankful to the Lord for giving me wonderful friends like them. And Bernie for thinking outside the box and adding a different “category” in my very usual owl collection.

And I want to say sorry for judging his gift too quickly, I just realized, if it happened to be a teddy bear, I would still be happy because it is from a friend and I apologize for acting (in my mind) like a spoiled brat who only wants the things that she expects.

Moral Lesson: Everything that we receive is a blessing from the Lord so we should always be happy and thankful whatever it may be. 🙂

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adam young | diary | God

Guess who’s buying VIP tix?

By on September 12, 2011

Kyuyhun Oppa is happy for me!!!!

HA! Y’know, the gifs really has nothing to do with this post. It’s just that, I want to share how happy I was when this day happened.

If you have read my post about being hopeless and all about Owl City’s concert, maybe the title of this post already gave you a hint on why am I feeling this way, well, if you’re reading my posts, you would know.  If not, you can do it now, just click here.


Okay, as I was saying, I was totally emotional during that time when I was the only one hasn’t bought a VIP ticket among my online friends but now, the whole world seem to have turned the other side which is apparently MY SIDE now. i think.. 🙂

The location of the All Things Bright and Beautiful Tour has been changed and together with that sudden change in location is another shocking news. The VIP ticket prices got cheaper from P4320 to P1758 which means, I can afford it now! Yeepee!!!

I want to thank Father God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit for listening to my constant prayers. Miracles do come true and only the Lord can make them, if you would just believe.

I give all praise to the Lord for he is always there for me and for you. for everyone of us.





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diary | fashion | God

A new haircut and some shit

By on April 27, 2011

Ticcle and I have been planning to have our hair cut last week just for a change but I’m still thinking twice because my original plan was to keep my hair long and probably have it rebonded before the school year starts. Unfortunately I got so bored and the weather is not much of help in my plan so i decided just to have it trimmed.

I also wanted to have bangs like Ticcle’s so I asked the hairdresser to do the same on mine. But, unfortunately again, it turned out differently because according to him my hair was treated already unlike Ticcle’s natural hair.

this is not my friend but the hairstyle I'm talking about looks more like this

To me it doesn’t matter that I can’t get the hairstyle that I wanted. What upset me the most is that they compared me to my friend who obviously is more beautiful than I am. Okay I don’t look that nice and cute and all but you don’t have to brag in front of me that I’ll never have the look that I want. You being the hairdresser should in fact have told me in the first place that what I’m trying to achieve is not possible because of my rebonded hair so I can decide if I’ll still go for it or just change my plan. Was that hard to do? Or laughing at me and gossiping with your co-workers as I go out of the salon is easier work for you?

I’m never going back to that salon again. Oh, maybe will just not let that guy touch my hair again even if I have to wait longer for another hairdresser.

That night also, I felt so depressed I cried. Funny part is I’m starting to laugh about it now too. Good thing I talked to my Bestfriend ever before i go to sleep. I told him my thoughts and He showed me a beautiful sky as I start my day today. As a sign that He listened to my story and now grants me the confidence that I prayed for last night. 🙂

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friendship | God


By on April 18, 2011

It has been my hobby to put myself down and look at other people as enemies who are only there at happy times but when tough times came, they were nowhere to be found. I can say these because I’ve experienced it. I’ve been left behind, talked about, pin-pointed to things I didn’t do, teased and deceived. Hard part is, nobody, except myself understands me.

I used to have a friend to whom I share my laughs and rants. We both hate same people and laugh around each other like siblings but then, he has this characteristic that I cannot contain. I believe he is my friend but what I don’t get is whenever I try to ask help from him, he never fails to have excuses. Even if it’s already obvious that he just doesn’t want to help. My point is I’m asking for help in a nice way so why not answer me nicely in return? It’s not of much effort to say “I don’t want to help you because I’m not in the mood,” anyway we are friends right? And so I decided to just stay away. By his gestures, I concluded he doesn’t want me around anymore because I am so dependent and immature and besides, he’s Mr. Friendly so one friend gone is never a loss.

Unlike the other girls, I don’t have a companion who’s always at my side when I look at myself in the mirror or guiding the door of my cubicle while I pee. I talk to people but not much that I can open a conversation easily. Usually, they are the ones to ask while I either shake or nod my head as I answer. There’s this girl I never intended to get close with but by our constant incidental meetings in the CR, I used to get comfortable with her and that I considered her as one of my gems (real friends). But sadly, I suddenly felt the coldness inside of me towards her when I discovered something that I didn’t expect her to be thinking about me. I’m so confused. I thought we were friends but then deep inside she has this jealousy on me I never knew where she got. So again, I kept distance.

Maybe I’m too sensitive to react that way but that’s the best that I can do. I don’t have the guts to confront a person so I’ll just keep silent and walk away. No harm done.  Thinking that they’re better off without me (which is true based on experience) and I’ll be better without them. I can say that I gained a lot from what I did because it gave me time to weigh things. I’m also starting to stand on my own feet and try to be as friendly as I can get. But sadly, I’m still not ready to face the people whom I feel have hurt me.

One thing I did wrong and I admit it from the bottom of my heart is saying this, “nobody, except myself understands me.“ I know you agree. I just realized that no matter how alone we think we are, there’s still this someone who’s never leaving our side, all we have to do is to call on Him and ask for His help. I remember this one night I cried so hard I can even imagine my awkwardly curled face because of trying not to make any sound. It is so hard. I feel so alone and helpless but luckily still hopeful. I prayed and talked to the Lord, still crying and asked for His help. I admitted that I can never do things alone and I don’t want to stick to people who only help me because they’re forced to help me because we are “friends”. I told my Lord that I am sorry to act that way but I know He knows me. I’ve had enough, I have to let go and so I did.

This is a lengthy and patience-testing post and you, reaching this point make me think that you are experiencing the same as I did for no one on their right mind would read an entry this long if they haven’t got any interest on what’s written on it. So sorry for making the story too long but I hope I’ve helped even just a tiny bit. Just remember, if you can’t take the bullshit anymore, let go. There are millions of other beautiful things out there for you to experience so don’t limit yourself by crying and cursing other people every night, I’ve done that and it didn’t work. Keep in mind that there’s a better place, better friends and better things waiting for you. You just have to discover it and this one I emphasize, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


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