My relatives say that I look snobbish and they’ve been wanting me to change ever since but I don’t know, I am not capable of starting a conversation or even just to share the first smile. Maybe that explains why I have a few friends only and I don’t care about being alone when they’re not around at all because in the first place, I am not that friendly and second, others don’t know my “language” so we wouldn’t understand each other.

When around my friends, I am the clown, I am the joker. I always fool around but when they’re not with me, I am all reserved and quite and I try my very best not to make eye contact with anybody so that it won’t start a conversation. But I don’t hate people. I am not anti-social. I am just shy. I am afraid that my topics were too boring and that I may annoy whoever I talk to.

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That’s why I am very thankful to God for giving me the friends that I exactly need. They are the ones who I can tell my deepest, darkest secrets and be confident that nobody else will know it except us. They understand me when I am in pain and though we are not used to comforting each other, they are very welcome with what problem I am sharing. They support me with the things that I love doing and I do the same to them but they don’t tolerate anything that involves skipping classes just to have fun with each other, lying to our parents just to go somewhere, being reckless for the sake of love or anything that other kids think are the “cool” parts of friendship. We treasure each other as if we were from the same uterus.

I love them as much as I love myself. I love them more than my Heechul posters and videos, I love them more than people love pizza. I am really, really grateful to have friends like them. They may be few but they fill my life with joy.

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